Children

Nothing in the world could have prepared me for fatherhood. No book, no video, no lecture or advise could sum up all that being a father is about. I’ve always said that when I became a father, ‘this is what I’ll be like’ and thought of the ideals we all have envisioned all our lives, the children playing in the park, the fun and laughter and whatever we saw as children on TV.

First of all, the miracle that is childbirth is such a life changing event. Well, it was for me. For months we were busy preparing for it. Getting the room ready, buying every conceivable contraption to assist the baby to sit, play, bath, eat, whatever. Reading books about what we should do and how things done while the baby was in the womb could affect him/her. Going for classes. Then when my wife went into labour, all that went out the window. I felt so helpless. I wanted to ease her pain but was unable to do so. It was heart-wrenching to see the woman you love go through so much suffering to bring your child into the world and when she was born, my respect and admiration for the woman in my life changed forever.

Nothing prepares you for it. All the preparation goes towards the woman and rightly so, but it is such a remarkable experience for the man too. I know it happens every second of every day, but witnessing the miracle that was the birth of my 1^st child was life changing. A new life, completely free of worry and completely innocent, starting out on their journey. I was there, along with my wife as our daughter took her first breath. That cry as she felt the cold air against her body that had just been cradled in the warmth of my wife’s womb all those months. She was so tiny. I remember feeling so scared to change her. Afraid that I might harm her fragile body.

The first year was all about learning to be a parent. All the rules that we had put in place before her arrival, out the window as our hearts melted every time she cried. There were so many lessons learnt and so much joy in it all and just when you think you know what you’re doing, along comes number 2!!!

My son was born just before my daughter turned 3 and while we were sure we knew what we were doing, taking lessons learnt from the first time around, we were again humbled to find out that we knew nothing. My daughter was 2 weeks overdue, my son, was premature. With our daughter, my wife had to be induced, with our son, she went into labour while still in the office. He was premature but at a healthy weight.

Over the last year and a half, we have learnt, if at all anything, that both our children are like chalk and cheese. So vastly different that you almost start thinking, this is how she was so he must be like this….

I am only now beginning to realise that we can never be certain of things as parents and most of us can only do our best for them. In the end, we learn as they grow and experience all that life has to offer, with them. Our role, to mentor and cheer them on when they need it, but mostly to love them unconditionally!!  

Me with my 'Life Coaches'